To Whom It May Concern,
First, let me just say thank you. Thank you for your delicious, hot and fresh artisan breads. Thank you for providing a relaxed and slightly less pretentious atmosphere than Starbucks. Thank you for Low Fat Chicken Noodle Soup in a Sourdough Bread Bowl. All of these things I enjoy with heartfelt appreciation. I wish only the best for Panera Bread.
You see I truly care about your success. And it is this intense concern for your well being as a successful and customer-pleasing company that has led me to compose this letter. It is for your betterment, I do believe, that I provide my valued, constructive criticism on the matter which I am about to disclose. Please, do not think of the following remarks as wanton complaining. Consider my words as a humble, encouraging whisper from a dedicated supporter of your fine institution.
My paltry and perhaps superfluous quibble concerns your side options, or rather just one in particular. I speak of your potato chips. I do not mean to sound insulting, but I cannot deny that your potato chips are not on par with the rest of your side selections. The baguette selections are perfect and the apple, wise. The chips do not suit my tastes, though this factoid alone does not justify my letter. Rather, I have queried other patrons of your bakery and I am yet to receive a response that is unlike my own. Many have been polled, and it seems that a common gripe lies in the quality of the chips. Many find their taste bland and their texture unsavory. I understand that you are concerned about our health, so you provide healthier chips, but the golden rule of the food states, "What is gained in health benefit is lost in delicious pleasure." Therefore, to use a crude term, your potato chips really suck.
But do not fear, I have at least two modest suggestions to remedy the apparent gap in quality. May I submit the notion of hard pretzel sticks in place of the chips? Pretzels can be equal to even the best chips in flavor and health. Honey Wheat Pretzles, I do believe, would fit nicely into your selection of sides. But perhaps pretzels are not to your liking. If that be the case, then may I suggest the ever-popular cookie as a final side option? What kind of cookie would be entirely up to you, though I think that your impressive baking talent would surely produce a superior chocolate-chip cookie capable of being mass produced quickly and cheaply while still maintaining excellence in flavor.
This criticism and these suggestions I entrust you will carefully consider.
Respectfully Yours,
Dan Rubino
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