On May 4th, 2007, the town of Greensburg, Kansas, was put on the map by a tornado that ironically wiped it off the map. Over 95% of the town was destroyed and several people were killed. But the resilient townsfolk decided to rebuild their town. But rather than just rebuild, the people decided to improve by jumping on the zero-emissions bandwagon and literally embrace the name “Greensburg.” The town has set out to make itself the greenest, most eco-friendly town in America, causing the media to take notice. Now, over a year after the disaster, the Discovery Channel is beginning advertisements for its new 13-part series produced by Leonardo DiCaprio that will cover the town’s assent from the rubble.

All of this inspiration and excitement coming from Kansas got me wondering, “Is Greensburg, Pennsylvania, losing its hold on the title ‘World’s Most Famous Greensburg’?” I’m worried that I know the grim answer to that question. When was the last time a major news outlet covered a story in Greensburg, PA? A tornado struck the city last year, but who, apart from the local news, cared? I’m afraid I don’t see how Greensburg, PA, can reclaim its title now. Perhaps the city should duck out of the competition now and change its name, preferably to another "color + s + burg" combination. Here are my suggestions and their corresponding merits that will make the city famous again:

Bluesburg: Home to the World’s Largest Muddy Waters Festival

Redsburg: Home to the National Headquarters of the American Communist Party

Topesburg: Blandest City Ever Tansburg: Highest per capita skin cancer percentage in America

Tickle Me Pinksburg: The First City Named After A Crayola Crayon

Purplesburg: The Grimace Lives Here

Whitesburg: 99.99% ethnically consistent

Off-Whitesburg: The slummy section of Whitesburg

Burnt Siennasburg: Formerly Siennasburg, which was destroyed in the Great Siennasburg Fire.

I was going to suggest “Black and Goldburg,” but if I recall correctly, Greensburg already changed its name to that around the time the Steelers were in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, the city reverted to its old name after many people mistook the city for a legal firm.