More people love bocce than I previously thought.
Everyone plays the guitar, but only a few people play it well.
Everyone’s friends from high school are crazy.
No matter how good a person is at Super Smash Brothers, there is another person who is better.
No matter how obscure my favorite bands are, someone else listens to something more obscure.
Cafeteria food tastes as good as the connotation the phrase “cafeteria food” carries.
Barriers do not deter people who desire to get into parking lot Q.
The Shack has never been clean.
No one has ever passed on a meal at The Shack because of its lack of cleanliness.
Biology majors love to complain about how hard biology is.
Naps are necessities.
Pipe smokers are exempt from anti-smoking campaigns because pipe smokers have class.
Ultimate Frisbee, while intensely loved by some, is nonetheless a goofy game.
Saint Benedict was very careful to point out that monks should not sleep with their knives on them, lest they be cut in their sleep.
The vast majority of students who oppose the controversial Internet filter are, in truth, just bitter because they can’t easily access gambling or pornographic websites. Be skeptical of arguments attempting to disguise this base desire in pseudo-intellectual concerns about a student’s free will.
Students who are from Cleveland confirmed every rumor I have heard about the place.
Students who are from Philadelphia informed me that the place is worse than I thought.
With a little sense and planning, all-nighters can be easily avoided.
Colleges and pizza shops are interdependent businesses.
More people go to church when ice cream socials are held afterward.
I can get away with just washing all of my clothes in one load set on cold.
No movie accurately portrays college life.
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