I’ve had almost every horrid, stereotypical job a teenager can legally hold.

I have worked at a pool as a slide monitor—yes, I was that terrible shmuck forced to stand at the top of the slide, telling children when it was safe for them to proceed in their water sports.

I have worked no less than three different jobs with cash registers, each more complicated and possibly demonically possessed than the last.

I have babysat/nannyed many a child (though in all fairness I have never met a child I hated on the job, though one did attack me with a rubber-band gun once). This means in my lifetime I have cleaned up terrific messes, patched up 798904+ skinned knees and elbows, and made more hotdogs than I’m sure is ethical.

Actually, I worked in a concession stand too, so I have made hotdogs and burgers in various sections of employment. That’s slightly painful to think about. But, I digress.

To return:

I have answered phones, filed (oh, the things I have filed!), and given tours. I have also mucked in grand amounts, and if you know anything about mucking, I need not say anymore.

I have worked in a mall, selling books, selling calendars. The first I enjoy, the second provided me with the life skill of knowing over 400 types of calendars. Does the world need that many calendars? I would say no, but then, I would be out of a job come this December, and we can’t have that.

I have also, obviously, blogged.

Currently, I still work in the ninth circle of hell, and by that I mean a mall. Malls, I am sure, produce enough bad karma to ensure that everyone within a ten mile radius (no matter how saintly) will be reincarnated as an ant…if you believe in that sort of thing.

I work at a bookstore, which is typically the definition of my dream-job-prior-to-me-holding-degrees. However, I’m also working in an office building 40 hours a week, filing, typing, running things places…and shredding.

Oh, the shredding that I do. I have killed two shredders already simply due to over-use, not just my typical technical ineptitude. Overall, it’s not a bad job, and the pay is great—but I am so bored. So, so bored.

Also, I had this brilliant thought process prior to coming home, of which I have included below:

“Self, higher education is expensive. As I’m sure SVC shall not accept “first born child” instead of a check—not to mention the fact that selling children is probably ethically unsound—I should get a job. Better yet, two jobs! Yes, two jobs, that’s the ticket!”

 Only, I did not counter in how painful 60 hour work weeks could be. I should be grateful, especially with the way the economy is tanking now, that I have a job…but it’s hard to be reasonable and rational when work is cutting into your summer time.

And man, do I love my summer time.

At least I still have my weekends.