Well here I am once aging procrastinating instead of doing homework. The weirdest thing about it is the fact that I am at home, and according to my rulebook, I should not eve be doing homework. But here I am at the library in my hometown, stealing their free wi-fi and not doing homework. I discovered the day before we went home that the third day after we come back from break I have a paper due for literary criticism. That will take up a large chunk of my time, but what is worse, I have not read any of the passages that I have to compare and contrast yet, though I believe I was supposed to read them for class. (Whoops.)

    So, I have not read the passages, so therefore I can obviously not compare or contrast them excepting obvious generally physical comparisons, as in they are both written in English, the paper is used is white paper and the ink is black. The same font is used for both of them…well you get the idea. I do not believe, however I could write 1000 words on that subject. No, actually I probably could. I would just get out my thesaurus, and use a lot of adjectives. But, either way, I am pretty sure that I would not get a very good grade on the previously mentioned physically descriptive paper. (Feel free to correct me, Dr. McDaniel.) So, I must at least attempt to apply myself.

    I believe the biggest hindrance to my concentration—besides Facebook—is the fact that I have a shiny brand new novel sitting in my laptop bag at my feet. Also sitting in the bag is the book with the literary criticism that I am supposed to read. My sense of duty tells me, “Kaaaaaaatie,” (my sense of duty has a ghostly voice) “You muuuuuuust reaaaad the boooooook abouuuuuut youuuuuur paperrrrrrr. You muuuuust or you wiiiiill (innnnsert unnnnnfortunate eeeeevent heeeeere.)!” My sense of duty is not the most creative sense.

    My sense of instant gratification, however just reminds me of the plot of the book—it is an intricate retelling of the Celtic myth of “The Swans”—and any reserve that was built up is easily dashed to little teensy, tinsy, bits. Oh no! The beast may have won! Darn you instant gratification!

    Oh, wait, never mind. It is nearly time for dinner, which means that I must go home, which means I can read neither the novel nor the criticism. I win! I mean, I guess I win. Maybe this is just a universal loss. I don’t know, I have confused myself quite thoroughly. I guess I will just post this on the site, with some admirably confusing photo, and anyone who reads this will just think that I am insane and make allocations. Or perhaps just give me an A.