I am, as my blog purports to reveal, a "non-traditional student." I think I may have mentioned this a while back, in my first or second blog. It's hardly a bad thing, of course; at least, I don't see it as such. I took five years off after high school, both because I didn't have the money to go to college, and also due to the rather average (well, okay, cards on the table: pretty poor) grades I got in grades 9 through 12. I've always loved to learn, but it took me a lot of time to accept the process...in other words, to do my work and not just try and take what I liked from classes. As I tell my little sisters now, education on every level isn't just about the content of the material: it's also very much about instilling responsibility. To be a successful, contributing member of a civilization (which, ideally, is what all education strives to forge students into), a person must have as much dedication and work ethic as they do knowledge. Seems simple, I know; but, for me, this was a realization that took some time to arrive at.

I spent five years after high school living on my own and earning my existence. I'm not going to say it's tremendously difficult, but I won't say it's easy, either. What I will say is this: it's easy to get by, provided you don't expect much. Expenses add up quickly...rent, utilities, gas (this one's especially killer), food (another sneaker), car payments and/or insurance, and so on and so forth. As an unskilled laborer, no matter how decently you're paid by the hour, you're going to find it tough to make ends meet and still be able to do some enjoyable things from time to time. Even I can't be cloistered with books all the time.

These are the reasons we strive for higher education, of course. That we're looking for money isn't, I think, the best way of describing the goals of students: what we want is to achieve circumstances where we don't have to worry ourselves sick about money day in and day out. Well, that's me, anyway, or half of me...I'd more accurately describe myself as searching for a set of conditions where I can pursue the things I enjoy and love (basically, knowledge in all its many forms, particularly literature) without being burdened with the dread of whether or not I'll be able to pay the bills this month. (Looking doubtful at present, unfortunately.) I think, at the core, this is the desire of every college student.

Life has a way of intervening in plans, especially those of which are financial in nature, or directly impact finances. Injuries happen (trust me: I've got a $15,000 knee), cars break down (trust me: I've got a transmission solenoid leaking fluid faster than my bathtub drains), you miss days at work due to sickness (trust me: everyone who's been at SVC recently knows what I mean; we've had a delightful little wasting disease on campus a while now); basically, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. It can be disheartening when you realize just how difficult it is to overcome these miniature disasters on a budget that's tight to begin with...again, this is why we go off to school, ideally.

My biggest problems recently have been gas (like all other Americans; particularly painful for commuters such as yours truly), utilities (related to the previous, especially heating), and my wonderful, terrible car. Wonderful, because it's the best investment I ever made: I bought it and paid it off myself, and it wasn't cheap, but it's served me so well for years now. Terrible, because now, with close to 100,000 miles on it, a few bits and pieces are inevitably starting to gasp and wheeze, and pretty much anything to do with car repair costs at least $100...usually closer to $200 or $300, in my experience. It's not like I can let the repairs go undone, of course: without the car, I can't get to class, or work, or anywhere. There are times I wish I could've lived on campus, but the "non-traditionals" like me generally operate on a much stricter budget (read: no parental assistance), and therefore I think we take the cheapest route: private housing. Unfortunately, this requires a vehicle, which in turn requires maintenance of the vehicle, and oftentimes prayers for mechanical benevolence from the Great Engineer in the Sky.

Anyway, my car has sucked my bank account as dry as Bunnicula siphoning a tomato. (Props to anyone who gets that reference! A book from my nostalgia-studded childhood.) I think I have...yes, here's my ledger: $23.97 remaining. Above zero, which is good; but below the few thousand I need to pay in tuition, which is bad. Having to dip into your loan money to cover other expenses is, well...not cool. I currently have no idea how I'll be rectifying that situation, which means I am officially in Panic Mode. It took a lot of work and struggle (against both external and internal tribulations) for me to arrive at Saint Vincent, which I truly love...the last thing I want to do is have to leave already due to something as baneful as money.

I mention all this because, if you are a prospective student, these are the kinds of things you need to be aware of, and not just if you're a fellow non-traddy. (I don't think my nomenclature will catch on...but I digress.) The real world is a pretty harsh place, believe me. It can drag you down, knock you out, force you to submit to its drudgery and forget about higher aspirations because, frankly, it's easier to just accept the status quo. We tend to take the path of least resistance. That being said, I believe and always have believed the other path, the path of resistance, is more rewarding in the end, and there's got to be a way down it. I don't know what it is, at present, but again, the key is not to give up.

Next blog (provided I'm not in debtor's prison): updates from World of Warcraft! I know, you're thrilled.